What Can Bald Britney Spears Do Now?

I know most of you are taking Brit’s side in all this media frenzy and want me to leave her alone, and I will.. soon, I promise. Honestly I don’t hate Britney, and wish she could get out from this mental illness as soon as possible cause it’s much better hearing her singing some catchy teenage tune than seeing her puking and stripping down in public.

Britney Spears shocked her few remaining fans by abruptly shaving her head and getting tatted up like a prison newbie and Maximonline.com believes that when life gives you career suicide, make career-suicide-ade!

Bald Britney Spears parody

X4: X-Men, Baby, One More Time
When last we saw him, the X-Men's chrome-domed leader, Professor Xavier, was a floating consciousness looking for a body to call home. Why can't that body belong to a white-trash single mother of two? You pop a couple of claws on K-Fed and you've got yourself a movie¬someone get Ratner on the horn!

Bald Britney Spears parody

American History Brit
It's a natural sequel: We find out that Edward Norton's violent neo-Nazi made a quick stop at an Arby's in Louisiana, took the chick running the fry cooker into the john for a little "romper stomper," and now she's preggers and looking for her white power man. You slap a "Baby's First Swastika Tattoo" on Sean Preston and he can be in it, too.

Bald Britney Spears parody

Sinéad
If Beyoncé can go all Diana Ross in Dreamgirls, then maybe the head-shaving is just Britney's way of saying, "The world needs a Sinéad O'Connor biopic, people." Britney's busy tearing up photos of the Pope as we speak, and Ray Liotta's going to reprise his turn as Frank Sinatra in HBO's The Rat Pack in a brief cameo where he calls up Britney and threatens to have her knee-capped.

Bald Britney Spears parody

XXX: In the Zone
Extreme sports badass X-ney Spears doesn't care for authority figures, but when the government needs someone to take down a pack of ex-Serbian military commandos posing as an all-boy pop band, there's only one person they can call. Samuel L. Jackson can be seen counting his money in the background of several scenes.

Bald Britney Spears parody

The Shield
Everyone loved it on 24 when Kiefer Sutherland rescued his daughter Elisha Cuthbert from terrorists or mountain lions or whatever (we only half pay attention when it's on), so why can't The Shield's Michael Chiklis have a cute, bald, easily captured little offspring of his own? Seeing the two of them kick open doors and slap around perps would be like that movie Domino, only, you know, not shitty.

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