All of a sudden it’s cool for girls to look like skeletons. Don’t ask me why, I really don’t care what the excuse is. No curves anywhere, just 70 pounds of jagged bone. And no I’m not going to whine about how these skinny celebs impact the lives of young girls. Bottom line, skinny ass celebrities are sick as hell and I’m tired of it. They don’t even have to be celebrities, just girls in general. You look like skeletons, so from now on I’ll refer to all of you as skeletor. This is the official club for people who fall under this title.
First of all if don’t care if you’re anorexic and that’s why you’re skinny. Anorexia and eating disorders aren’t real diseases, they are just excuses. I’m tired of people not being responsible for their lives and inventing diseases every time something goes wrong. Yeah if you don’t eat, want to weigh 80 pounds, and vomit all the time something is wrong with you, and yes you are messed up in the head. But by no means are you a victim of a disease, and no way I feel sorry for you. Especially if you’re rich. Get serious. Eat your damn money for dinner.
Now you are eligible for this club if:
* You have a bony ass face and look like a skeleton.
* You don’t have curves, you just have bony ass jaggeddy edges.
* You are some skinny ass guy that I don’t like.
* You have the body of a young gymnast girl.
* My penis weighs more than you.
* You believe in / “suffer” from that eating disorder bullshit.
* I can see your ribcage.
* I’m confident that I could punch a hole through your chest, break you in half during sex, or blow you away with my fan.
* You don’t weigh anything.
* You’d get murdered playing pee wee football.
And yes I know that the real Skeletor is a badass skeleton with big bulging muscles and that he could bench press every girl on this list, at the same time, just as a pre-exercise warmup. And no this pictures aren’t "photoshopped" I don’t even own photoshop.
The cardholding members of the Skeletor Club.
Mary Kate Olsen: You are just skinny as shit. People have the nerve to call you an anorexia victim. Bull shit. Look at you, looking to the sky like things are so unfair, and it’s not your fault. If you can afford all of that fashion shit you’re wearing, you can afford a steak. And even though the steak weighs more than you do, and you’d have to fight to eat it, I’m confident that you could do it.
Ashley Olsen: I guess you aren’t as famous for not eating and snorting coke as your sister, but you’re still just as bad. Besides, you two are always together. I’m going to assume that you spent your entire fortune on that exotic ass space alien dog you have in your arms. I suggest you just do yourself a favor, and eat it.
Gwen Stefani: "Ooooooh, that’s my shit, that’s my shit!" FALSE. That is not your shit, because people who do not eat have nothing to shit out. You look like you’re 12 years old, which is why it made perfect sense for you to shoot your Hollaback Girl video in a middle school. What the hell are you thinking?. I swear I can see your ribs 5 out of 10 times I see a picture of you.
Paris Hilton: You had the audacity to do a Carl’s Jr commercial for a hamburger. You will do anything for money, even pop out of a rich woman’s vagina, like you did when you were born. You think life is easy and carefree now, just wait until you try to have kids. Pushing a baby out of that bone-cage vagina is going hurt like hell, it’s going to be like nails across a chalkboard. You probably won’t ever have kids though, since pregnancy involves eating and gaining weight.
Lindsay Lohan: You truly are amazing. You went from some skinny unattractive 13 year old redhead girl who stared in disney movies, to a big breasted hot redhead, then back to a 13 year old skinny unattractive redhead. You threw it all away, you were one of the only hot redheads I’ve ever seen. Was it the cocaine? I don’t care, please Lindsay Skelelohan, get your curves back.
Nicole Richie: Who the hell are you? Why are you even famous? You aren’t attractive at all, and to make matters worse skinny as hell. It looks like you’re melting in this picture. Gross. You can’t sing, act, model, you have no talent, simple life sucked, it wasn’t funny at all. That new movie you’re in, no doubt in my mind it sucks as well. I hear you have wings tattoed on your (very visible) shoulder blades. Great, now you look like a bony ass pterodactyl.