Named the “next big thing” by theVogue magazine, Ruslana Korshunova, fell from the ninth floor of her New York City apartment on Saturday, in what appears to be a suicide. She had reportedly watched the movie “Ghost” with a former boyfriend the night of her death.
Police found no signs of a struggle and friends said she had not been acting suicidal. Now the Daily Telegraph has printed her posts on social networking websites, which seem to show she had feelings of being lost, confused and unloved and suffered from mood swings. Which seems pretty normal for a 20-year-old girl.
“In one message three months ago she wrote: “I’m so lost. Will I ever find myself?”
An earlier posting, quoted by the New York Daily News, she wrote: “It hurts, as if someone took a part of me, tore it out, mercilessly stomped all over and threw it out.”
One cryptic entry in March reads: “My dream is to fly. Oh, my rainbow it is too high.”
Other postings revealed anger. “I’m a bitch. I’m a witch. I don’t care what you say … I know why my other relationships didn’t work out, ’cause I’m unpredictable. ”
Her most recent posting, quoted by the New York Daily News, sounds like a discourse on the theme of love.
“Love is the sun, desire – only flash,” she wrote.
“Desire dazzles, and the sun gives life.”
“Love does not take away from one in order to give to another.”